I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
