do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
