Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My bed smells like the plague
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
