I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
