I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
