I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
