that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
