k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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