I will die if light touches me.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
