if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
