Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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