hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I understand Curling. That high.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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