i was born a porn star she said
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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