So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
