I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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