Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
