i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
