I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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