I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
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