it was like eating out sand paper
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
