Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
