That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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