Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i love accidental penises.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
