Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
50% drunk capacity currently
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize