I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize