dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My penis needs a shock collar
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
