Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize