fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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