This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
