you would pick up someone in the library
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
