Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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