so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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