What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
