You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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