That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
