i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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