they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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