Buhtt sex?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
