Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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