we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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