as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
