i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Someone shattered a urinal.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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