I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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