Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
