whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
