I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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