Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Pooping to opera.
Randomize