well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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