cat food counts as protein by the way
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize