Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
