3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
