If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Sober January is a disaster.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
