I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
