Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
