I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize