It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
