One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
