so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
