Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
