Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
