Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The beer is more important than you right now.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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