its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
