I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize