Sponge bath it is.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
