Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
