If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
