Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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