I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize