Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize